Good Housewife… Bad House-guest!

We have a group of friends that’s pretty out there. Many run and operate very successful businesses, and then others are simply have no desire in life to further develop. My wife and I have a very good relationship with most all of our friends that share the same desires and have the same drive as we do. We are very determined to be successful and make the best life possible for our children. As for the friends that have no desire to further develop, those ones are the issue.

While i was away on a business trip my wife invited one of her girlfriends over who falls into that category of “no desire to further develop”. One of those girls that didn’t go to college, didn’t want to stand up for herself and have strong meaningful relationships, didn’t want to build up her future while she was younger, etc. Now, she is in her mid thirties and has the job of a 23 year old and a boyfriend who is literally one of the nicest guys you would ever meet, but she is such a cluster-fuck she starts a million fights a day with him simply for the fun of it. (Bitch is crazy, right!?)

(Begin rant…. )

So, I arrive home from my business trip and see her car parked in our driveway. Our driveway is huge. We have a 3 car garage, and a driveway where you could park 4 cars in the driveway and still pull all 3 cars into the garage. Don’t worry, she parks right in the middle of the driveway blocking my garage door so i cant pull my car into the garage. This is about the 100th time she has done this, and she consistently does it every time she comes over.

(At this point, i am mildly annoyed….)

I finally find a way to squeeze my car past her, pull into the garage, and i walk inside to see my lovely wife in the kitchen making dinner for our family.

I say hey to her, give her a kiss, say hey to our kids, gets my welcome-home hugs, and put my bag down. Sitting on my sofa in silence is this crazy bitch friend of my wife’s… In silence. Doesn’t turn around to say hello to me, despite she has been at me home all day, eating our food, drinking our liquor, and really just invades our f*cking space! At this point, i still haven’t received a “hello” from her, so i walk upstairs and decompress for about an hour.

Oh, one variable i haven’t told everyone about is the fact that this girl also finds it necessary to bring her f*cking dog over to our house… All the damn time. It’s not just any dog… It’s a dog that is poorly trained, has long nails, and continually farts, shits, and pisses on every square inch of your home. Despite the fact that the dog is like 5 years old. Any dog owner knows that if you have issues with your dog that are disciplinary like this, all of those issues stem from the owner sucking at life.

So, i have not only this “girlfriend” of my wife’s over, but we are also graced with the presence of this animal that desperately needs training. (Not his fault, can’t be mad at the dog)

To add insult to injury and compound the havoc our house guests are costing us, we are now having to deal with having this dog IN our home. Want to know what’s worse than having this dog IN your house though? Putting him outside, because this little f*cker jumps on your doors and scratches the shit out of them. Rips the paint right off the doors, and smear mud all the way up them.

You think that’s it? Oh no… Don’t worry… I come downstairs after my 1 hour “mental health break” and i sit down for dinner… Don’t worry our “house guest” joins us for dinner as well. As i am sitting down for dinner her dog not only pisses on our floor ONCE but TWICE!!! Right next to where i am eating by the way…

So, i say some rude comments i am sure when this happens, and then our house guest finally leaves…  After she has pissed on our floors, scratched our doors, slung mud on our doors, eaten our food, drank our liquor, and blocked my garage door.

In closing i leave you all with this… While i love my wife, she knows she pushed by buttons that day. I love her regardless of her choice of house guest. She is always accommodating and takes pride in making our house, a home for everyone that comes over.

As a house-guest…. If you do dumb shit like i described above, please just drive your car off a f*cking bridge.


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